January 18, 2014

Cheesy News from the Strange: The “Swiss Cheese” Pervert

By Elizabeth Nelson
Have you heard about or seen the “Swiss Cheese” Pervert along Philadelphia University, and was also making appearances in other states, as he pulled up next to you, held up a piece of Swiss cheese, got you to roll down your window to hear what he’s saying and then exposed his naked self?

I was rolling as Greg Gutfeld and his panel summed this guy up, his sex with cheese fetish, his past and his dating website profile, on Red Eye:

“You know what dating website he should go to, Kraft Singles”- Greg Gutfeld

“If you ask me, he’s up to no gouda”- Greg Gutfeld

 Christopher Pagano, 41, was unceremoniously led out of his home on Noble St. by police with their guns drawn Thursday afternoon. Pagano faces a slew of charges including stalking, indecent exposure and harassment, according to Philadelphia police.

So, the “cheesy” man posted bail and is back on the streets, don’t we feel safe and comfortable with this information?

Liberal mentality: We’re going to have to ban Swiss cheese now that this sick, mental man is using cheese, in a manner that it wasn’t ever intended to be used, and is victimizing and mentally scaring people all over the East Coast.


  1. No, they're going to have to ban guns, how the hell else did those holes get in the cheese and pervert this poor soul? !!!!

  2. ROFLMAO @ how the holes get into the cheese
    #liberal logic; we MUST ban cheese and ugly cars (brown car with yellow wheels?)

    I loved his "family friend"
    "He was always a little off," family friend Dorothy Kendall, 79, told the Daily News. "Christopher was always kind of strange. I don't think he was real smart."
    OMG WOW, with friends like that, who needs enemas.

    Greg Gutfeld was the icing on the cake. I DVR his Red Eye program, because I'm "too old" to stay up til 3 a.m. to watch it, so his "cheesy" take on this Philly pervert, was exactly what my week needed.

  3. I'm going to look for it! Greg's a good guy!